I need to write again. This time about something that really matters. My mother is 2000 miles away, 90 in Feb, living alone, doing very well until quite recently. We talk every day. I go there every six weeks to eight weeks. I try to make things easier for her.....she sometimes resists.
Sometimes on the phone I feel like Alice in Wonderland. She now has Parkinson's....and is lucky that it doesn't affect her in any shaking way...but there are other symptoms. Some of age.
So many people go through this tug of war between children, grandchildren, and parents. But when it comes to rest in your own heart, it is sad....and difficult....and confusing. It hurts.
There is nothing to be done but to take the gradual steps one at a time to make things ok for her and ....for me. She is still such an amazing individual.....she doesn't want to give up and I don't either.
So, I have spoken to the ether. Perhaps the lump in the throat will ease.
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swamp, 55" x 29"
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flying fish, 55" x 29"
eye with a view
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About Me
- Gail Siptak
- I am living and painting in the little town of Houston. A far way from my San Francisco beginnings. I paint what I see of the human condition, be it human, animal or object. The glimmer of humor, pathos, and spirit in so much of what I see is the basis of what I paint.
Gail, I have a group of women whom I talk to online. There are a couple of us who are sharing the same kinds of difficulties you have with your mother. The other day, one of them shared this link with us. You might find it useful as well.
ReplyDeleteIt's awful, isn't it? Seeing the people who once ruled your world slowly fading. It's frightening, too.
Remember to take care of yourself. You can't be all things to all people, but you can be good enough.
http://www.silverplanet.com/blog/good-enough-daughter
Good luck.
Elodie Pritchartt
www.elodious.blogspot.com
Thanks so much, Elodious. I did check it out, joined, and I think it will be a help. Not that I wish all this on anyone else....but it is good to talk to other "good enough" daughters.
ReplyDeleteHi, found my way to your blog via painting on flickr...my mother is 85 with dementia which is excelerating rapidly and lives 700 miles away on her own. I booked flight for 2 weeks from now but wish it were sooner. How much can we do from a distance. Doing blogspot and flickr has helped me escape the pain of an aging mother. I'll be back.
ReplyDeleteHi, Maggie. Good luck with your mother....I guess our watchword is "pag
ReplyDeletetience, patience"....and then we can go into the closet and scream a little.
gail
This is a very moving thing to hear about ,There are a couple of us who are sharing the same kinds of difficulties you have with your mother. The other day, one of them shared this link with us. You might find it useful as well. Great site
ReplyDelete