Looking after mom.

Back in California visiting what my mother calls the "loony bin, you know the one that flew over the cuckoo's nest"  and she knows it well.  She resides there in the loony bin with Lewy Body Dementia....not regular dementia or Alzheimer's but the really loopy one complete with hallucinations and delusions.  Most of the people in her very assisted living abode have various forms of dementia and many have Alzheimer's. Most do not carry on conversations.  My mother like to talk. But not to them.  And worry about what people think ....but mostly about what they are thinking about her.  I believe this comes under the gray umbrella of paranoia.  She has been in this facility for the past 26 months.  And I visit 2000 miles one way and 2000 miles back once a month for a week or a little more.

I would like to think that I am a caring person....I guess I am....but honestly there is some guilt that drives the plane here every month.  And that need to "please your mother".  Much as we love our mothers, there is always that tone of voice, that can bring us to our knees.  In my case it's " GAaaailllll."  my name drawn out in long and judgemental syllables.  And she worries about me.  And that is so sweet, so how can I bitch and complain.  Well, for one thing she's not reading my blog, so that's how.

Peace Peace .....please, Peace.